


Life Goes On

by dr_bobanner



Category: American Gods (TV), American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Irish Mythology - Freeform, Leprechauns, Love, Lovers To Enemies, Magic, Media has to possess someone to leave the TV, Original Character - Freeform, Relationship(s), Romance, Running Away, Sexual Content, fae, leprechaun junkie, more book than show, new gods are tricky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:09:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10853721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_bobanner/pseuds/dr_bobanner
Summary: It was no secret Sweeney had a thing for the waitress at Jack's Crocodile Bar, most of the guys did. It was no secret she enjoyed their time together when she'd patch him up after another fight. It was also no secret they'd been sleeping together for several months now. What was a secret was how much Clarice wished she could leave this hole in the wall for more. But her good Irish boy always kept her stuck home until an offer too good to be true came along.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this is gonna be very canon divergent because I couldn't wait to finish the book before starting this. I just love Mad Sweeney so much and this stories been brewing in the back of my head and I love it so much. There are a lot of feelings here.

There’s was many unspoken rules at Jack’s. Many involved Mad Sweeney, of course, one of their lovely regulars. Sometimes new faces could pick up on those rules, but that wasn’t always the case. That was when Sweeney had his fun, boozing it and fighting it out with some poor bastards that didn’t know any better than to antagonize the ginger. But that always lead to a rule that only applied to the employees or brave patrons of Jack’s Crocodile Bar. The only person able to patch up Mad Sweeney and get him going home was Clarice.

The poor girl had been stuck with this fate from the moment Sweeney laid eyes on her on her first night of work at the bar. She was a waitress, happily obliging the drunk men who heckled her and gave sweet promises to her. But those sweet promises were always met with the assurance that she wouldn’t be there long, she’d be moving up and out as soon as she’d saved up the money. Sweeney knew that best of all, trying to use his charm and good Irish boy looks to bring her around to him. But like the other men, Clarice promised she wouldn’t be around long enough for him to fulfill everything he was offering.

But Sweeney knew how to bring her around. And that was where the unspoken rule came from. While Sweeney had always been a man to rub some dirt in his wounds and move on, as most knew, Clarice refused to accept that after sitting in on her first fight. Some kid got it in with the regular and get a few good ones in before his lights were knocked out. Jack let the boys friends drag him out and scolded Sweeney, the kid was barely drinking age. He didn’t care much, laughing as he grabbed his jacket and wiped the blood from his eyes. At this Clarice huffed and grabbed Sweeney, who she now realized was far taller than she expected, and dragged him to a back booth to sit. Most were shocked he was letting the waitress drag him around like that, but Sweeney simply obliged and sat while the first aid kit was brought over.

He tried his sweet talking while she patched him up, but she didn’t say a peep. Instead, her lips were shut tight in a thin line across her face, focused more on making sure he’d be okay. While Sweeney was annoying, she couldn’t deny his sweet act and the fact that he’d annoyed her into caring. That was quite a feat, considering every other man who’d been as persistent as him had gotten some stern words from her at this point. After a good while, he was all patched up, and Clarice walked him out to his truck to make sure he made it that far without passing out. That was when the two began talking finally.

It was just some small talk, which turned into banter over the fight, which turned into the pair dissolving into laughter outside the truck. That lead to the two having sex inside the truck. It was fun, and Clarice finally saw something in Sweeney that could keep her around.

That was the start of the two’s less than relationship. After that night, the pair made a thing of cleaning up together after a fight and spending the rest of the night in each other’s bed. Sometimes, there didn’t even need to be a fight, they’d just end up going home together when they didn’t feel like being alone. It made the hard nights easier, and the slow nights slower. No matter the issue, Sweeney and Clarice knew there was always a space open for them.

* * *

 

“Why thank you, young lady.” Mr. Wednesday said with a smile as the beautiful waitress placed out their drinks.

“You can thank me in the tip.” She said, heading back to the bar and cleaning down her tray.

Clarice looked up from her tray, dark eyes watching her Irish boy tease the new guy with his coin tricks. A curt laugh left her lips as she shook her head, stashing her tray under the counter as Jack took a stand next to her.

“There’s a pool on who’s gonna start it first, you want in?” She asked, giving Clarice's hip a bump with her own.

“There’s really a pool on that?”

“Hey, this new guy looks like the feisty kind. Good, old, Mad Sweeney could be getting in over his head.”

Clair couldn’t help but roll her eyes, going on to wipe down the bar and listen for the signs of a fight. It didn’t take long. But of course, it seemed Clarice was eating her words, as she saw the newcomer reach across the table to land one of Sweeney as she looked up from the counter. It was a hell of a fight, and Sweeney seemed to have met his match at last. It wasn’t until the two landed a punch each, sending themselves to opposite sides of the bar, that the fight ceased. The new man ended up dazed on the floor, trying to orient himself before scrambling up. Sweeney, on the other hands, was doubled over at the bar, holding his jaw for a long moment as he laughed.

“Oh, would you look at this.” He said with a bloody smile as he finally stood. “Ya got yourself a good one there, you do.” With that, he made the long way to his back booth, clamping his opponent on the shoulder on his way.

And so started the usual routine. Clarice grabbed the first aid kit and followed behind Sweeney, standing over him as he sat in the back booth. Usually, she’d begin unpacking the kit, but now she stood over an especially bloody mess whom she suspected was missing some vital teeth now. She let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head as she pointed to the back “Employees Only” door.

“If it’s that you’re wantin’, love-“

“Keep it in your pants until after you’ve rinsed all that blood out.” Clarice said pointedly and grabbed him by the ear, pulling hard as she leave him to the back. It had to be a funny sight, seeing such a large man bent over as his girl pulled him along like a school boy in trouble. 

In the backroom, she pointed Sweeney to a sink and kicked a bucket over for him to sit on after cleaning himself up. He eventually sat down, most of the blood gone and thankfully no teeth missing. Clarice went to work getting him fixed up, disinfecting his cuts and bandaging them carefully. He’d be lucky if this guy didn’t give him a concussion, but he’d also be lucky if he did.

She smiled wryly at the thought, figuring that would teach the bastard a lesson about starting fights with strangers finally. Until now, nothing had, not even the nights she made him go home without giving him the chance to clean up or get any. If this didn’t, it was time for the direct approach. With most things the two were direct, but the fighting was something Clarice had left unchallenged. For someone against the stereotypes of leprechauns, Sweeney sure seemed to hold up a lot of Irish ones.

“What’s that look for?” He asked, a hand resting against Clarice’s outer thigh now.

“Just wondering what it’ll take for you to leave a poor guy alone.”

With a dry laugh, Sweeney pulled her into a kiss, his lips tasting like blood and cigarettes.

“If I didn’t fight, how’d I get the pretty girl at the bar to look at me?”

His charms were as plain to see as any, but she still fell hard for them. His kisses were the sweetest she’d tasted, even though the years of chain smoking, and she would never give them up for all the riches in the world. She got lost in them so easily, just like now, that she barely noticed when Sweeney had her up on the sink edge and her legs wrapped around his waist. God how he burned against her, his hands making her wild for more. She’d give anything for a life of just him.

Those thoughts were momentarily broken when there was a sudden, warm drop against Clarice’s cheek. Opening her eyes, she pulled away from the heat and flicked off the drop with her finger, raising an eyebrow at the red stain it left on her finger. Looking back to Sweeney, the cut just by his left eye had opened up again, and was slowly dripping down his face again.

“My work is never done.” She sighed, pushing him back and hopping off the sink.

“I don’t think it ever will be, so long as those nasty fucks-“

“Zip it.”

And with that, Clarice rebuttoned her jeans and went back to treating the bloody cut.

* * *

 

It was far later than anyone should be up, but sleep was a far dream at this point. The couple had their after making it back to Sweeney’s hole in a wall apartment after the bar closed, probably pissed off the neighbors like they always had fun trying to do, and now laid together as a tangled mess. Clarice watch as Sweeney easily drifted into sleep, his broad chest rising and falling steadily under her hand in a reassuring way. It was the quiet moments she treasured most, beyond all the fun and hanky panky they got up to. Those moments of reflection and understanding exactly what it was she’d gotten herself into. Right now, it seemed like she’d gotten herself into a relationship with a man boy who only knew how to get the attention of the girl he liked by beating up all the other boys, but in the morning it would be totally different. In the morning, they’d forget all about the fighting and the cuts and bruises and just be happy in each others arms for the long time before Clarice had to leave for work. Maybe they’d have breakfast together, and maybe go for another round, but either way they’d have forgotten about everything else.

There was a low sigh in Clarice’s chest as she sat up, slipping out of her lover’s grasp and grabbing her shirt off the floor. In the living room, she flicked on the tiny, old television sitting in the living room and curled up on the couch, watching the reruns of Friends for a couple hours. It was a while before her eyes grew heavy, and by then the sky was slowly showing signs it was almost morning. Watching the screen, Clarice began focusing when it looked like Rachel turned her attention to the camera, out of the screen, before suddenly the screen went black. Blinking a few times, she realized Sweeney was taking a seat next to her, moving her feet onto her lap and giving her legs a rub.

“Ya doing okay, Clairey?” He asked.

“Yeah, just couldn’t sleep.” She said, giving him a smile and rubbing her eyes.

All she could think was this was supposed to be fun, but now she was realizing their fun wasn’t as fun as she was expecting. It was turning far more serious than she ever thought. But that was the fun part sometimes, going from a romp in the sack to being able to sit for hours in a comfortable silence, just together and quiet.

“I should throw the old thing out.” Sweeney finally said after they sat in silence for a long moment.

“Hmm?”

He motioned to the television, it’s screen still a faint glow of the screen still crackling.

“Those things are no good.” His lips pursed into a thin line.

Clarice watched him for a minute before sitting up, making her way into his lap.

“You really don’t seem like the guy to get lost in a good show.”

“Never had ‘em when I was younger. No point in ‘em.”

She laughed, leaning down to steal a long kiss. He seemed more nervous than he was trying to let show. There was obviously something wrong, but she never pushed. He’d always answer the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So y'all know how in the notes of the first chapter I said I hadn't finished the book? I got the the next appearance of Sweeney right after I posted that and by now I've finished the book and seen episode three. And yes, it has fucked me up but also given me angst fuel for this fic which was originally just going to be a kinda fluff mine.  
> Also, headcanons are going to start playing in soon, and I'll probably make notes of which come from the book or show since I'm blending the two.

            _Five months earlier…_

Clarice was more than happy to cover the extra shifts when one of the other waitresses didn’t feel like coming in. More money for her, she thought. Besides, it was bad work ethic to just give up shifts like that. But that also left her with long shifts, from opening to closing several days in a row. It was exhausting to keep her happy face on that long. How Jack could do it for so many years was a mystery to her.

            By the end of the shift, Clarice was sitting in the back after throwing out the days garbage, taking deep breaths and resting her eyes. It was nearly three in the morning now. If she worked nights like this anymore, she might as well give up a normal sleep schedule and go full vampire. That would be an interesting life, make it hard once she’d saved enough to leave this town for good.

            “You did good, sugar.” Jack said as she walked out, a cigarette hanging between her lips.

            “Thanks.”

            Jack brought a lighter to the cigarette and took a long drag, holding in the smoke for a while before letting out the white plume into the air.

            “So, you good to go home?”

            “Mmm-hmm.”

            “Really?”

            Clarice just nodded, hoping she wouldn’t insist on giving her a ride because she was obviously too tired to drive herself without passing out and having an accident.

            “Take tomorrow off. You’ve earned it.”

            “Thanks.”

            There was a long moment of silence before Jack offered her employee a cigarette.

            “No thanks.” She turned them down, smiling before she stood. “Can’t stand the taste.”

            “Really, now…”

            They stood there a long time again. It was an awkward long time. Clarice had only been working there for two months, and it didn’t feel like she had enough of a repore with Jack to make more than small talks, despite how she insisted that if you worked at the bar you were family. She’d already opened up to her, so at this point she had no excuse.

            “You know, I’ve been taking all the extra shifts so I can move soon.” She said after the long silence, feeling it had been an awkward statement that needed to finally be said. “After college this town has just felts too… small. It seemed huge when I was a kid.”

            “It always does.” Jack said. “Where you heading?”

            “California.” She answered. “Cliché, but I’d like to be an actress.”

            “That’s a good goal.”

            “Thanks.”

            When Clarice had told her parents they begged her to reconsider, to go for a nice teaching job or something similar. Something secure she could use in town. They were worried about what she’d have to do for roles, how she’d starve without a real job, how she may get forced into something she would regret in the future. But that wasn’t everything she was going to do. Clarice was going to be a real actress, and prove everyone wrong. She wasn’t some cliché story.

            “Is that gonna go over okay when you have to break it off with your pretty boy?” Jack asked, eyebrow raised.

            “Sweeney?” In honesty, she hadn’t thought about that. Partially because she assumed she’d never get enough money and partially because she didn’t think Sweeney cared. They were just sleeping together. “Why?”

            “Don’t play coy.” Jack laughed. “That man has been coming into my bar for a year now, and I’ve never seen him get strung along by a waitress quite like he has with you.”

            In the year she’d known Sweeney, Jack had learned about him. He was a very personal man, lots of charm, and always full of booze. If he wasn’t, then he was about to be. For someone who cared so much about the stereotypes of leprechauns, he didn’t care much for how many Irish stereotypes he filled. But that was just Sweeney. What also was Sweeney was hassling the waitresses and only listening to Jack, because everyone listened to her. But after a certain point, he stopped hassling Clarice. He still gave her all the attention he always did after she first came in, but not in the same way as the other girls. And of course, there was the fact that when Jack went to take out the garbage  she’d seen the two in Sweeney’s truck having more than a little fun.

            “It won’t be a big deal.”

            Nodding slowly, the two stayed outside for a new more minutes before Jack stamped out her cigarette and headed back inside. It was going to be a long time before Clarice had to explain anything to Sweeney, she didn’t even have the money to move if she wanted to. She quickly threw her dark, curly hair into a bun and headed back inside to finish closing with Jack. After cleaning down the counters, counting up the register, and locking up the bar, she headed to her car and sat for a long moment. Jack had a point, despite not saying it aloud.

            Clarice let out a heavy sigh as she put the car into drive and started off in a familiar direction. It was a good fourty minutes before pulling up to a familiar building and hopping out. His apartment was on the second floor, easy enough to find in the dim late morning light. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should just head back to her place and leave this be. But that wasn’t fair. After going back and forth another minutes, she knocked, not expecting Sweeney to be awake this early. Surprisingly, he was, and opened the door. He was still dressed, and looked like he’d been up a while.

            “Hey.” She said.

            “Hey.”

            “Sorry, I just got off work and I’ve got tomorrow off so-“

            Sweeney stepped back to let her in with a smile, closing the door after her.

* * *

 

            It wasn’t until the next night that the two woke up. Sweeney was the first up. He wasn’t sure when he’d finally fallen asleep, but it had been just as dark then as it was now. With cracked eyes, he looked over to the clock. It was ten at night. He sighed, slowly pulling his arm from under Clarice’s head and getting up. In the living room, he picked up his jeans from the day before and slipped them on before picking up the rest of their clothes. He left Clarice’s  in the bedroom and tossed his dirty shirt in the hamper. She didn’t look like she’d be up for a while, her body practically limp against the mattress. With a smile, Sweeney leaned down to leave a kiss against her pale forehead.

            A ringing from the living room caught his attention. Walking out, he grabbed his cell phone from the coffee table and brought it to his ear.

            “What?” He answered. “I’m busy… Do it your damn self… I ain’t doing shit for you.”

            There was long pause before Sweeney let out a slow breath.

            “Fine, when?” He paused again, listening. “If you’re in my neck of the woods again after that I’ll fucking slit your throat.”

            He hung up and turned, seeing a very sleepy Clarice standing in the hallway.

            “Is everything okay…?” She asked.

            “Uh, yeah. Just dealing with some business.”

            She nodded, taking his hand as he extended it to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her close and kissing the top of her head. He was so warm, Clarice thought she’d fall asleep again right here.

            “Sweeney, can we talk about something?”

* * *

 

_Five months later…_

            Clarice sat in her living room, watching the television as Sweeney slept in the other room. It had been a long couple days since his last fight, and he seemed far more relaxed than he had their whole time together. It made everything far more enjoyable. He was smiling more, less anxious when he came by the bar. That had to be good.

            After a long couple of hours zoning out while she watched the television, Clarice finally began paying attention again when she realized the show had almost totally stopped. On the screen, where she’d been watching Friends reruns again, Monica sat alone in the apartment and watched her. It was surreal. When had she fallen asleep?

            “Hey there, Claire. How are you doing?” She asked.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarice sat in utter shock, trying to process the woman on screen looking at her. Monica blinked a couple times, the whisper of a smile on her lips. Either she had fallen asleep or she’d accidentally had some of what Sweeney was always trying to hide from her. Which ever it was, she was extremely worried about why she was seeing Monica Geller talking to her right now.

            “Don’t worry, sweetie.” She said, reassuring Clarice. “You’re just fine. I wanted to talk to you while the big guy’s out.”

            “Is this happening…?”

            “Of course. I mean, you’re there, I’m here, this is happening!”

            There was something off about the cheery tone Monica had.

            “Now, you’re a smart girl, and I’ve got something to talk to you about.” She leaned forward, looking into Clarice’s eyes. “You aren’t doing much in this little town. You’ve got a cozy place here, an okay job for right out of college, and one hell of a lover boy. But it’s not everything you really _want_ … Is it?”

            She shook her head, mouth agape.

            “That’s what I thought.” Monica scooted closer to the camera on the couch. “You’ve got a whole lot of dreams. They’re great! They’re loud. I watch ‘em every night. A big star, wanted and love by all. You have the best roles and win at every awards show. Am I right…? Of course I am, you don’t have to tell me.”

            Clarice wanted to say something, but decided to listen out what was being said.

            “But they’ve been changing. He’s been changing them, hasn’t he?” That faint smile faded finally and was replaced with a look of concern. “There can’t be a guy out there that’s good enough in bed or sweet enough with your family that you’d be willing to put aside all those dreams. Trust me. Besides, he’s not really the kind of guy you _can_ take home to mom and dad.”

            “I-I mean, we were going to talk about it.”

            Monica shook her head slowly.

            “Mom and dad wouldn’t be happy if you brought them a drunk without a job who always looks like he’s just had his lights knocked out.”

            “He has a job.”

            “A legitimate job. Not whatever he does with that mysterious voice over the phone.”

            She was right.

            “Now that I have your attention, I have an offer to make.” The smile slowly came back, but this time it was more maternal, more caring. “Join me and my side, and I can make all your dreams come true.”

            “Your side?” Clarice blinked a few times before shaking her head and grabbing the remote.

            “Clair-“

            The TV crackled a few times as the screen blackened. The apartment was quiet then, besides the quiet snoring coming from the bedroom. Clarice just sat there, not sure exactly what had happened. Her head felt suddenly clear, like she’d just been shook from a vivid daydream. Had it been a daydream? Or a hallucination? It didn’t matter. It was over now.

            Quickly hopping up, she walked into the bedroom and slipped next to Sweeney, curling into his side with ease. Thoughts were moving too quickly for her to try and sleep, instead she mulled over what Monica had said. If it was a hallucination, it had to be some kind of wake up call for her. It was true, in the last month or two Clarice had started reconsidering her move. By now, she had more than enough to get a simple apartment and support herself until she got a day job and even pay for good headshots. She’d gotten enough to barely scrape by a while ago, but that was when she and Sweeney had become a bit more friendly. They’d started opening up about life before, about their hopes and dreams, about what they wanted. By now, she expected to have the relationship conversation. It was six months over due at this point, but it was something they’d have to have if it was serious. But now, it was just sex with unspoken feelings.

            “Mmm… Clairey?”

            “Yeah, baby?” She looked up at Sweeney as he rolled over, his arm pulling her against him.

            “You still awake?”

            “Yeah, babe. Go back to sleep.”

* * *

 

              _Hot lights shone down on Clarice as she sat in the plush chair, dressed in a fitted but professional dress and her hair perfectly quaffed around her shoulders. Across from her was another chair, Sweeney sat in a a tailored suit and his person devoid of battle wounds or traces of his uses over the years. He smiled kindly, a set of cards in his hands. Around them, several lights shone down and a camera pointed at each of them._

_“I’m glad you were able to make it today.” He said._

_“I’ll always make it for you, Sweeney.”_

_He nodded, looking down to the cards for a moment before making eye contact with Clarice again._

_“How have you been? There seems to be a lot working out for you.”_

_“I’m doing good. It’s been a busy few months getting into a new role, but I’ve really enjoyed it. Filming has been such a breeze, and our director really knows what he’s doing. I think when people go to see it, they’ll love what they see.”_

_“Now,” Sweeney adjusted in his seat, “no one really knows what to expect from this project. What would you say for anyone not sure if they should come see or not?”_

_“Well, you’re a fan of fantasy it’s definitely a go to. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t like a good escape wouldn’t like it.” She laughed._

_“You think this is fantasy?” His face fell for a minute before the smile returned. “Filming has yet to wrap, can we get any hints as to what’s to expect?”_

_“Mmm, well if you’re a fan of a good, cathartic tear jerker it’s definitely a go to. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t like a good escape wouldn’t like it.” She laughed._

_He laughed too._

_“Are you ready?”_

_“I’m sorry?”_

_“Are you enjoying your time on set?”_

_“Oh.” She nodded for a minute as she processed the question. “Yeah, I think so.”_

_“You think so?”_

_“I mean, yeah, of course. I love it.” She stopped, looking at Sweeney for a long moment. “I love it a lot.”_

_They stopped, looking at each other for a long moment before they started laughing again._

_“It’s been great having you on, hopefully we can talk before filming wraps.”_

_“We have to talk before then.”_

_“We’ll try and get it in the schedule, won’t we?”_

_He seemed to be looking off camera at someone in the dark. Clarice looked around, unable to see anyone. But there was someone, someone guiding Sweeney from behind her. Behind Sweeney stood Monica, watching Clarice with a smile._

_“I have to go now.” She said, standing and watching as Monica stepped back into the dark._

_“Do you have to?” Sweeney asked._

_She looked back to him, his eyes looked so sad. Leaning down, she left a soft kiss on his cheek, the lipstick mark looking more like a bruise as she pulled away._

_“Please don’t leave me with him.”_

_“I’ll only be gone for a minute, baby.” She tried to smile. “Besides, you’re always okay.”_

_“Because I’m a leprechaun.”_

_That stopped her for a moment, her eyes tore away from Monica again and looked at the sad man before her._

_“You really believe that still, don’t you?”_

* * *

 

            To Sweeney, it looked like Clarice was going to be out for several more hours. She could always sleep so long, like the world didn’t matter until her body and mind were rested. It was a kind of sleep he hadn’t had for a while. Sure, he was a heavy sleeper, but he wasn’t a long sleeper. Hours at a time, maybe four at most before his body made him get up for a while. He used to not have to sleep like that. Hell, he used to not have to sleep. He had his fun at all times of the day. But that was before he slowly but surely fell from his grace.

            But part of him didn’t really care.  There had been a lot that had happened since then. He’d gotten to travel, he’d even met a lot of pretty girls. And some he saw a couple times every dozen years. Sweeney wasn’t always sure when he was meeting an old friend, or the child of an old friend, but it was a kind reminder that the world wasn’t always so bad.

            “Mmm…” Clarice stirred, her eyes barely cracking as she let out a hoarse rasp. “Time…?”

            “Don’t worry about it, love. You’ve got a while still.”

            She nodded slowly, turning over and yawning loudly.

            “Want some coffee?”

            She nodded again, settling back into the mattress. Even if she wouldn’t be awake when the pot was done, coffee sounded good.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else disappointed we didn't get more Sweeney in this weeks episode? Love the way they depicted Laura's depression, it was like scary relatable, but it's kinda nice seeing what Sweeney's up to that we didn't see in the book.

_Three months earlier…_

            Clarice leaned against the far wall of Jack’s office, the two women totally silent as they watched the same spot on the desk. The only real sound was the ticking clock that only punctuated how slow time was going on. It felt like an eternity before the phone alarm finally chimmed and Clarice took the few steps it took to get to the desk, swallowing hard.

            “I don’t think I can look.” She said.

            “Well, I’m not looking, honey.” Jack said, sliding the stick towards her.

            With a deep breath, she picked up the stick, praying harder than she had in any youth group her parents made her visit growing up. Finally, she looked down at the test in her hand and began swearing. It fell into the empty trash bin with a clatter and the room went quiet again.

            “Not what you were hoping for, huh?” Jack asked.

            Clarice was back in her spot, leaning against the wall and taking several long breaths.

            “You gonna tell the big guy?”

            “Maybe.”

            “Clarice, he deserves to know if you plan on getting rid of it.”

            After letting the little plus sign sink in a while longer, Clarice nodded and walked back to the trash can, pulling out the stick and looking at it again.

            “I gotta see the doctor first. You know, to confirm, blood tests and it all.” She said and smiled.

            It was less of a smile and more of a forced form of her mouth. It was completely unnatural, especially for a poor twenty-six year old waitress who barely knew what to do with her life if she were to follow her parents plans for her.

            It was a good week before she was able to get into the doctor for a blood test, and the anxiety worked itself up more and more as the days went on. Sweeney seemed suspicious as she played around drinking and started doing less late night shifts, but he never called her out on anything. That wasn’t like him. But damn did it hurt to go through this week with a suspicious guy waiting for her to open up and her boss who was more like an aunt at this point pushing her to tell him.

            Finally getting into the doctors office, she chatted up the med tech before finally getting to the lady of the hour and talking through all the usuals. When her last period ended, what kinds of birth control she used, any medications or recreational drugs she used, and finally the blood draw. It would be a couple more days then until the results came in. Heading home, she made up some cocoa and began going over everything in her head.

            At this point, there was three roads to take. First, she was pregnant and was going to get an abortion. If she did that, she didn’t want Sweeney to know. Clarice had no clue how he’d react to finding out she was pregnant, no clue how he’d react to finding out she wanted an abortion. Which lead to the next path, she was pregnant and kept the baby. No California, probably have to take time away from the bar to make sure nothing happened while she was pregnant, and hope that Sweeney could step up as a father. And finally, she wasn’t pregnant and no one had to know. That was the path she hoped for most. Sweeney deserved to know, but part of her hoped he wouldn’t find out about this. It could still be a fasle positive, there was always a huge posibility of that. If it was, it was her being paranoid and unreasonable and it didn’t need to get out from her and Jack.

            That was the mind set Clarice kept for the next couple of days, and she knew that it showed to everyone. It was getting close to when the doctor was supposed to call and the anxiety was mounting.

* * *

 

            “What’s wrong?” Sweeney asked from the couch as Clarice paced a bit.

            “Nothing.”

            “Bullshit.” He leaned forward and watched her, looking her up and down. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been like this for a good two weeks.”

            “Just… waiting for a call.”

            “From?”

            A cold wash of dread washed over her as she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

            “The doctor.”

            Sweeney’s mouth fell agape and he leaned back.

            “What’s wrong? I mean…”

            “I’m fine, I’m not dying or anything.” She bit her lip, looking down at her phone and heard Jack’s voice going over in her head. “I took a pregnancy test a couple weeks ago.”

            She didn’t want to see Sweeney’s reaction. The silence was enough. After a while, Clarice finally looked over. He was staring at the floor, his brows knit together in confusion or possibly frustration. That’s how she felt, so it was only reasonable.

            “You’re pregnant?” He finally asked.

            “I mean, maybe. A home test can only be so accurate.” She swallowed and slipped her phone in her pants pocket. “Last week I went to the doctors to get a blood test.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me?”

            She didn’t want to cause any issues, that’s why.

“What’s his name?” Sweeney asked suddenly, his voice getting low.

            “Who?”

            “The bastard you slept with!” He yelled, looking up at her with anger in his eyes. “There’s no way it’s mine, I shoot blanks, damn it!”

            “What the actual fuck, I’m not sleeping around!” She yelled back.

            This was the first Clarice was hearing this, but considering how Sweeney’s pride went she wasn’t surprised. But the fact that he assumed she was cheating instead of having a false positive wounded her.

            “Then what the hell else is there to say?! How else-“

            “Shut up!”

            Sweeney went quiet, now realizing he’d stood and was towering over Clarice from the other side of the room. She looked far more pissed than he’d ever seen her.

            “Clarice, this can’t, we can’t-“ He never used her actual name. He was actually scared.

            “Trust me, I know. I don’t want to.”

            They both stood there for a long time. There was a lot going on between the two of them.

* * *

 

_Three months later…_

It was mid afternoon when Clarice finally pulled herself out of bed, still in a funk from the night before. The couple had spent their day like most of them, either quietly holding each other and talking about whatever came up, or riding each other to orgasm. But none of that had been able to shake the dream from Clarice’s brain. By now, she was sure it had been a dream. She’d fallen asleep watching television and finally confronted herself about letting Sweeney get between her and her dreams.

            “What’s wrong, Clairey sweet?” Sweeney crooned as his hands appeared on her hips, his lips finding their way along her neck.

            “It’s nothing.” She answered, a disinterested edge appearing.

            “Then let me say goodbye properly before  you leave.”

            For a moment, Clarice forgot about the night before as Sweeney’s hand unbuttoned her jeans and slipped down her underwear. A soft sigh left her lips as his fingers slowly moving over her clit and she braced herself against him, her body still tired from the several times already they’d gone at each other. Sweeney was rather proud of himself as his fingers pulled long moans from Clarice, her body going weak against him. She breath quickly, her fingers digging into his arm as the pleasure plateaued at a high. It wasn’t much longer before she climaxed, a cry of pleasure leaving her lips before they were swallowed by Sweeney’s, his kiss hungry but gentle. He smelled like blood and cigarettes. Clarice breathed heavily as she held onto Sweeney, her mind coming back to everything at hand. Work, she had to get to work. That was what she was supposed to do. After their kiss, there was a moment of awkwardness, unsure what to say before finally saying goodbye and Clarice left for work. It wouldn’t be until long after the two last saw each other that Clarice realized that moment of awkwardness was because Sweeney wasn’t sure if he should tell her that he loved her.

* * *

 

            At the bar, Clarice walked in quickly, throwing her purse in her locker and heading out to grab an apron. It was the usual crowd, minus one for now, still with their pretty promises and sweet words. It was a couple hours before Sweeney made a show, getting his usual and finding himself a spot in the bar to haunt. She barely noticed him enter, too busy with other customers to notice. It was a quarter to midnight when she finally took her break, heading to the backroom to take a breath.

            Sweeney stayed in his booth, noticing Clarice leave and standing, walking up to the counter and catching Jack’s attention. The older woman walked over, giving him a suspicious look over before nodding.

            “Evening.”

            “Evening, lovely.” He said, trying his best to be especially charming. “I’ve got a favor to ask.”

            “No.”

            “Jackie dear, you don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”

            “I know it’s probably about your girl, and I’m not getting involved.” She said, giving his hand a pat. “What ever shit you’ve stepped into, you gotta clean it up yourself.”

            “No, no, it’s nothing like that.” Sweeney smiled, a strange, boyish charm about himself. “I just need you to send Clairey home. There’s a surprise waiting for her.”

            The older woman raised an eyebrow at Sweeney before he sighed, pulling out a couple gold coins and sliding them across the counter to her. Looking over the loot, Jack smiled and tipped her head to him.

            “Nice doing business with you.”

            He smiled, watching her head to the back.

            Clarice was pacing back and forth, anxiety still building up no matter how much she breathed. It hadn’t been such an issue before. There was so many things in the last months that reminded her that she’d been planning to move before Sweeney. Maybe it was the nature of her dream that had caused this. Either way, she’d been dealing with so much.

            When Jack stepped in, her mind was suddenly made up.

            “Clar-“

            “Jack, we need to talk for a minute.” She interrupted, taking a deep breath. “So, I’ve been thinking a lot, and honestly I think it’s time for me to get on with everything.”

            “Get on with  everything?”

            “I mean…” Taking a deep breath, she composed herself. “It’s time for me to finally move on, move to California and leave this town.”

            “Oh.” That was all Jack said before nodding slowly. “Well, are you gonna tell Sweeney? Or did you already?”

            “I’m going to tomorrow.”

            “Well, it looks like he’s been waiting for you, even asked me to give you the rest of the night off, so I think he’s got something planned for you.”

            “He what?”

            Before Jack had a chance to clarify, the sound of a scuffle caught the women's attention. They hurried out, making it out in time to see one of the middle aged regulars giving Sweeney a run for his money.

            “Hey!” Jack yelled, going behind the bar and putting a hand on her shot gun.

            The two men were pulled apart in their moment of distraction and went to their own sides of the establishment. Wiping the blood from his cheek, Sweeney followed Jack’s gaze to the back door and locking eyes with Clarice. He’d never seen that look on her before, she’d never looked so disappointed before.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well at first I was getting these chapters out like there was no tomorrow but now my inspiration has leveled out and I'm wanting to pace these chapters more to go along with the show. Because we're seeing more of Sweeney's story in the show this is gonna follow more of Clarice while they're apart, but I will have more solo Sweeney. Also sorry this chapter was so much shorter than the others.

“I told you he’d do something like that.” Monica said from her spot in the television

Clarice sat in front of the set, her eye red and tired after venting out her frustration to the television. She was so unsure about the whole thing before, deciding it was time to move on already so quickly was a rash decision but it felt right. And her frustration at Sweeney for having started another fight like that, right after he’d asked Jack to let her go so he could presumably do some grand romantic gesture, it only spoke more to why she should go. For six months now, the two had been fooling around and Clarice had diluted herself into thinking that could mean something more, something like love. She thought she’d loved Sweeney. But something had just switched in her mind, and it felt like she was finally seeing things clearly.

“It just feels so… I don’t know…” She wanted to stay is was wrong, unexpected, unpredictable, but it wasn’t. “Guess what’s what I get for getting in with a guy like him.”

“Guys like that aren’t good for you. You almost gave up your happily ever after for him.”

Clarice sighed, looking around her apartment. Jacks aid he’d asked to let her go for the night, and she could see why. While Sweeney wasn’t the kind of guy to do big, grand gestures of romance, he’d actually tried making something good. When she’d stormed into her apartment, angry and only aggravated by Sweeney further when he tried to explain himself, she had found a bottle of wine waiting with a dozen roses. He’d been trying to do something he knew she’d appreciate, but mucked it all up before getting the chance to try. Part of her wanted to let him try again, forgive him for doing what he always did. That was just Sweeney, he fought.

“This has to be the last time, Claire.” Monica sighed, scooting closer to the screen. “Come on, you’re a pretty girl. Get you on screen and all the guys will be lining up for you!”

“I don’t need any other guys.” Clarice muttered, wiping at her eyes.

“Okay, no guys then.” Nodding slowly, Monica gave her a kind smile. “What is it you want to do? I know you want to be like this, on screen, loved and adored. But what exactly is it you want to do?”

Clarice took a moment to think, chewing on her lip as she did.

“I… I want to act, I guess.”

“You guess?” Monica sighed. “Honey, you’re going to have to figure it out a little more than that.”

“Well, I’d like to act, but I’m not that good at it.” She said.

“Claire, a pretty girl like you doesn’t have to try. Just say your lines and make sure everyone around you can carry the scene and you can do anything.” She said, looking Clarice over. “But we’ve got a lot we need to change before that can happen. You’re pretty, obviously, but small towns just ruin a pretty face like yours so fast. Especially when they’re shitty men make you cry like that.”

Clarice sniffed and looked at the screen skeptically, still questioning just how much she’d lost her mind.

“Come on, a little make up and time away with people who know what it means to be big and you’ll look good as new. I’ve got some associates that can help out.”

“Really?” She asked, starting to listen a little more to Monica.

“Really.”

* * *

 

He’d fucked up real bad, Sweeney knew that. It was supposed to be a big night and instead he’d gone and sent it down the shitter. That’s how he’d ended up getting a good slap across the face from Jack. The woman had tolerated him for his time in town, but as soon as he hurt one of her girls like that by causing trouble in her bar, he was done. That’s how he’d ended up outside Clarice’s apartment, trying to find his right words to apologize for being such an ass, especially when he was trying to be good for her.

With a heavy sigh, he got out of his truck and slammed the door, heading up towards Clarice’s apartment. A couple floors up and a lot of pep talk later, Sweeney was standing outside the apartment door and pacing. If he didn’t make up his mind now, someone was bound to call the cops. At the worst, she was probably going to make him leave, but there was a chance he could get a few words in at least let her knew he hadn’t meant to fuck up so bad.

He knocked a few times and listened. There was the faint murmur of talking he recognized as Clarice, she was probably on the phone with her mother or Jack, needing someone to comfort her after their fight. He knocked a couple more times, hoping she just hadn’t heard. This time, he heard someone talk back. It was a familiar voice, but he’d never met any of Clarice’s friends, how was a strange voice supposed to be familiar.

“Clairey?” He asked loudly, hoping to get her attention. “Clairey, I want to talk to ya, I want to apologize. Please.”

The talking hushed for a moment before the strang voice started talking again.

“Clarice, I’m really sorry. Please, can we talk?”

That was when the talking stopped and it was total silence. Not the kind of silence of two friends who were trying to stay quiet while an ex is trying to get their attention from outside, the kind of silence of an empty apartment. This sent a deep panic through Sweeney before he started knocking louder and calling out for Clarice. There was no answer, and eventually he felt around her door frame for the extra key and hurried inside. The room was totally devoid of people and signs of anyone having just been in there except  the muted static screen of the television.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is shorter than other chapters, I'm working on some other creative projects and it's taking my attention away from this. That's also why it's been so long since my last update. But hopefully since I aim for around 1000 words per chapter I can squeeze in a chapter every once in a while.

It was some damn rotten luck, the kind that made a man cry out to the gods. But Sweeney wasn’t the kind of man to ask for the gods help, not anymore. Now he was stuck with this damn bad luck, or perhaps the simple lack of luck, that had him set by foot to find his employer and his bastard right hand man who had his luck. This unfortunately had him stuck heading deep through the woods, somewhere he was hoping to get out of as soon as possible, the gods in there were strongest with their lost travelers.

“Well, Mad Sweeney.” A voice said.

It was no where near a human voice, sounding half like an animal trying to mimic human speech and half like a slowly creaking door. Sweeney turned towards the voice and stared down the figure shifting in the shadows, raising from it’s four legs as the back ones bent and shifted oddly to accommodate it’s new position. In the shadows, the oily sheen of it’s fur was illuminate with  an unnatural glow. Sweeney squared up to the creature, keeping his eyes on it.

“The fuck do you want, Slick?” He spat.

“Have you thought over my deal?”

It was a heavy breath and Sweeney nodded, not giving any indication of his answer.

“Well?” It asked, not moving from its spot, a wheezing breathed over it’s words as the figure seemed to grow and shrink with every breath. “Your bonds to the human world are gone, there’s nothing tying you here.”

This got the man, his jaw tightening as he stared down the beast.

“Ah, yes, I know your human is gone… My children saw her fly away with that wretch.” It tried to laugh, but it sounded like a disgusting glob of food stuck in the garbage disposal. “Could it be you’ve lost something?”

“My… coin. I lost the fucking coin.” Sweeney admitted, his shame plain on his face.

“My, my.” It breathed another hoarse laugh. “Well, belief does not effect a beast.”

“Fuck off, you creepy motherfucker.” Sweeney barked, finally turning his back to the beast and hurrying through he woods.

"Too bad, since it takes two coins to cross the river styx." The beast said before returning to all four legs and turning, heading deeper into the woods.

* * *

 

She didn’t know if it had been days or weeks, all she knew now was that something had happened and she was now paying for it. Hanging over the bathroom toilet, Clarice heaved and sobbed as bile was forced out of her stomach and into the bowl. With deep breaths, she forced off the platinum blond wig on her head and began removing the accessories that decorated her. Red lipstick smeared across her face as she grabbed a towel and began washing her face. The last thing she remembered was being in her apartment and then here, now in pain and dressed in a Marilyn Monroe costume.

Removing her heels, Clarice stumbled out of the bedroom into what looked like a hotel room and nearly dropped dead on the bed before the television clicked on.

“You must be confused. Let me explain.”

She looked over and saw Monica stirring her coffee in her apartment on the screen, tapping the spoon on the side of the cup.

“What the hell did you do to me…?” Clarice asked, her throat raw and voice weak.

“It was part of the deal, hon.” She said. “I’m giving you this, the life of luxury and a chance at the big screen, and when I need to you give me that beautiful body of yours to leave my world and work in yours.”

It was a slow dawning as Clarice realized exactly what was happening, the realization she hadn’t been hallucinating this whole thing becoming increasingly clear. A few tears fell down her cheeks as she looked around the room, desperately searching for a phone and beginning to breath quickly.

“Oh dear, it’s no use.” Monica said, sighing. “Your pretty, little leprechaun is wrapped up in his own business.”

“He was’t joking…” Clarice muttered, giving up on her search as she ended up on the floor, white dress splayed around her. “What the fuck are you?”

“I’m your god.” Monica said, a simple smile across her lips. “You had dedicated your life to the screen and now I am repaying you. You get your fame and fortune, I get a body.”

Clarice took a deep breath and quickly reached out, pulling the televisions cord out of the wall. She looked to the screen in triumph before her stomach dropped. The screen was still lit brightly as Monica shook her head.

“You have a lot to learn now, don’t you?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fanfiction lives! Yeah, so I kinda mega neglected this because 1. I'm working on my first manuscript right now and 2. I moved out for the first time so the past several months have been hard. But slowly I shall return to this fic, and future chapters will be much longer and better.  
> But to be honest, it's nearly at the end of what I had planned for Sweeney and Clarice. From this point on, it's going to be far more book than show, but still with hints of the show through out.  
> Also, let us mourn for the show for a little bit. I respect Michael and Bryan's decisions, but the show won't quite be the same without them.

The days she was left to herself and the days she wasn’t even in control of her life had bled together faster than Clarice had realized. After having to accept the reality of gods and creatures and the fact that Sweeney was one of them, she saw no reason in counting the days. Without realizing it, she’d thrown away her life, and now had to deal with the repercussions. That being, she had what she had always prayed for without doing anything to do with it. Her days left to herself the television played, showed her herself on the screen. Clarice laughed, she spoke, she cried, she did everything on the screen she imagined doing.

But she didn’t leave that hotel room, not once, to go on set and perform like she did there. Were those illusions set up to keep her complacent? Perhaps, that seemed like a useful tactic to keep her in line. Make her think she was living that grand life. It worked. Clarice no longer fought when she lost time or was made to look like some classic character she’d looked up to, it was easier to go along and live out her wasteful life in the pretty room.

The bed was soft and covered in silk sheets, the curtains permanently drawn but let soft light from outside shine in, and each surface was covered in trays of fresh fruit and breads, sometimes a pot of coffee to pair with the bottles of water in the mini fridge. Always the same when she woke up, the reaction to her body being used still violent and unrelenting. None of that had changed. Nothing changed. How long had she been here?

Besides the occasional message from her god, no one came for her. As time went on, the messages became more panicked, just under the surface. Whatever they were doing, it wasn’t looking good. Until the moment they weren’t, and suddenly the god was confident and excited. There had to be a reason for it, but Clarice didn’t dare question it. All she knew was soon, very soon, she’d lose time again. But was it really losing time when she barely noticed there had been anything lost?

After the last contact, a message about a very important broadcast coming up, she simply smiled as watched the wall, the pale wallpaper slowly beginning to swirl into patterns and colors and shapes.

* * *

It wasn’t until a hand touching her shoulder pulled Clarice out of her sleep. Rolling over in the bed, she smiled, greeted by the rugged and handsome face of Sweeney.

“Mornin’, lovely.” He cooed, arms wrapping tight around her.

“What time is it?” She asked, a little groggy.

“Mmm… Just passed eight.”

Clarice leaned close, pressing her lips to his in a sleepy kiss before pulling away and throwing her legs over the side of the bed, hand instinctively holding her large belly as she waddled towards the bathroom. Sweeney’s soft chuckle filtered through the apartment as she started brushing her teeth, followed by footsteps moving out of the bedroom and out into the living room.

“Babe?” She called out.

“Yeah?” He called back.

Clarice finished rinsing her mouth before padding out and towards the kitchen, peeking in to see Sweeney getting started on breakfast. A couple cabinets were open, showing the new shelf of bottles and sippy cups she’d finished organizing the morning before.

“Pancakes?” He asked, giving her a knowing look.

“Please?” She asked back, sky smile on her lips.

He smirked, stepping closer to catch her lips in another kiss, his hand brushing against her stomach as there was a floury of kicks. That was the last of the talk as Clarice walked back to the bedroom to get dressed for the day, the last of her maternity jeans barely fitting over the ever growing stomach she’d been sporting for months now. She took a deep breath, looking down at it before moving the gaze to her hand. The ring, a simple band with a heart and hands symbol, placed on her ring finger. It felt so good.

It felt so good.

* * *

Sweeney awoke with a start in the bed of his truck as crackling sounded around him. God, this was such a mistake. With his luck, he was going to end up with some hooligan’s seeing the big, red, run down truck and try taking it for a joy ride. The would leave him either without a truck, or stuck in the back of some dumb ass kids attempt at a night of rebellion. Sitting up, he held onto the cold metal of the truck, fingers feeling the chips in the paint and small patches of ice forming. He took a deep breath and carefully stepped down onto the ground, slipping a bit as he made his way to the front door. It didn’t open easy, and inside was almost more cold than in the elements.

Shaky hands brought a cigarette to Sweeney’s lips before striking a match and lighting the tip. It glowed as the burn took, and smoke filled his lungs with a satisfying warmth. He sat for a long moment before letting out the deep breath of smoke. Every night, the same dream had plagued him since Clarice and his coin disappeared. Something better, happier, kinder. How badly he wished that reality had come out for them.

A deep cry of pain left the ginger’s lips as he hit the dashboard in frustration, head hitting the back of his seat as tears prickled his eyes. It hurt so much, it had been months now since he’d last seen her in person. Their separating had been a mess, and all he wanted was to transplant the pleasant life dreamed into reality. Fuck, he wanted it so bad he would give his life for it. But that defeated the purpose of it all.

After a long moment of thinking over it, he took a deep breath and started the truck, starting off towards the main road and turning the opposite he’d been planning. A clever trick of bad luck was being able to tell when he could force some good luck, such as turning onto the path of the bastard who had his luck. God, he needed it back so bad. He needed Clarice back so bad. Clarice.

Where was she?


End file.
